Hi Guys....In response to your many questions I have taken it upon myself to help you in your planned vacation down to the islands... Being your first time down and aboard I thought I would go into some details concerning a sailing vacation......As far as the weather is concerned you can expect temperatures to soar to the early 90's during the daytime and plummet to 78 after sunset....lots of sun block and hats are almost mandatory....a hat with a wide brim, though they look really cool, are also recommended....try not to embarrass me in front of my friends with your sense of style....I keep a complete set of towels onboard and more can be easily obtained if needed....I may need the room they would take up in your luggage to bring in contraband.....You may or may not, it depends upon circumstances and the person involved be subjected to a thorough search before coming aboard, so try to keep that in mind.....remember Mi Boata es su Boata! but that doesn't mean I am going to slave hand and foot getting you this and getting you that....Now for those of you that have never spent time on a sailboat a few things you should know.....When under way, when the wind is crossing our course from a certain angle and dependant upon that angle and the velocity of the wind a certain amount of heeling will result....Heeling is when a boat begins to lean to one side or the other, seldom reaching more than 45 degrees.....This is normal and sailboats are designed for this....It is just a requirement if we are to ever reach our destination within a reasonable time and is nothing I can do anything about….So keep this in mind when setting down half full drinks....or putting something on a shelf......I only discuss this for anyone with little or no experience with sailing.....
It will be very warm on deck during the daytime, there is nothing I can do about it so don't ask.....I usually suggest a plunge off the swim step....although the water is usually only a few degrees cooler than the air temp, it is refreshing....it is also very salty which is something else I can't do anything about, so don't ask.....We will be doing our primary sailing and passage making in the morning with land insight at all times, in fact most of our sailing will be within a short swim of the shore so the first time you decide to give the skipper some lip you might think about that....After the tragedy of Christmas, 2002, I will not be sailing after dark....We don't need to discuss that same tragedy nor is it necessary to use it in any arguments that may or may not, at times arise over this or that remark you may take as more of a command than as a request.... If you have something, and this includes body parts that you do not want the world to see you can forget it.....it doesn't exist on boats although you can sleep in privacy in your own quarters....it's the door marked Storage/Crew....and the boat has two bathrooms with showers which will from now on be known as heads..... you will have very little privacy which once again is something I can do nothing about so don't ask....The heads operate by simply moving a lever and hand pumping the bowel clean, then returning the switch to it's original position and pumping it dry....Water does not grow on trees! Use the fresh water sparingly! ..
When first boarding I will acquaint you with the parts of the boat and the proper nautical terms…The bathrooms as I said earlier are known as heads, the front of the boat is the bow, not the pointy part, the mast is not the tall stick that the sails hang from, the galley is not the kitchen, the big pillow, bumper things are known as fenders, but more about this subject when you come aboard…
Boats move, they rock back and forth and from side to side, as well as up and down, in all kinds of directions....depends on the sea conditions, the wind directions and how big a passing boat's wake is, again all things I cannot do anything about.... Pack light....mostly swimsuits and something to show respect to the locals when going to the market and walking around their towns, as well as going to the restaurant kind of change of cloths....the material should be something that dries quickly as you will get wet from time to time….depending on the guest onboard clingy, tight clothing is allowed, but must be approved by the skipper first….shoes should consist of sandals and flip flops....Nothing with black soles they mark up the decks.....
I'm not a flogging Captain, but can be forced to when petty offenses warrant them or they are just begging for it....one can't flinch from his duty when confronted with the difficult crew member....God help you if I hear as much as one little whine....Think about sun, beaches, and ugly little islands filled with human waste, social outsiders, too much booze, great music, unfriendly locals, great food, frizzy hair, sweaty, hot humid days swatting at no see ums, fighting mosquitoes and ugly lizards, well maybe not so ugly when you really think about it.....remember one thing and one thing well, I rule my deck with a very keen eye and won't be corrected or allowed to suffer any kind of insolence such as this or that was my fault kind of thing, and maybe and only maybe might I not have to suffer my disappointment and thus once again with a flogging attended at the mast....a scene which can easily become all to common as has been my experience.....I am getting back into my skipper with too much free time on his hands at times, sometimes finds himself in "situations" kinda frame of mind because he didn't display the right kind of, some would say, maybe not the best judgment at times, but to be totally frank, I believe it is rooted in under disciplined, surely, ungrateful crew....
I have over 500 albums as well as dozens of movies onboard.....if you can't find something to entertain yourself try reading something.....but bring your own as I don't keep books onboard....they weigh too much and are a source for disease.....don't expect the skipper to build a complete itinerary around your visit....nor will I be putting on a Bozo the Clown rubber nose and entertain you if you get bored.....Feel free to bring along any past times you may wish to bring such as needle point, rug weaving, coloring books etc.... There is plenty to do and we won't possibly be able to do them all in the time you will be down, something else I can't do anything about.....And one last word to ponder, "Bug Repellant".....okay make that 2....
Welcome aboard!
Marv
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Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Crew Applicant Questionaire
I have written the following questions hoping it will, if the need arises, help me in an evaluation of any applicants I might seek out for crew. There are no right or wrong answers, no grading will be applied in my evaluation as to our compatibility, something of supreme importance when isolated from the world on basically an uncomfortable, rocking, floating island 39 feet long. The questions are not of a technical sailing nature, nor do they get into any navigation, they simply help me evaluate your decision making skills, which ultimately can mean the difference between life and death at sea. All questions are taken from real life sailing scenarios to help me judge your level of skills that will result in a fun and safe cruise. So just have fun with it..
Scenario 1
Quick, you notice the skipper is suffering a massive hangover and your departure time, in high winds and choppy sea conditions is fast approaching... what do you do?
a. Let the bastard get underway on his own if he really wants to get underway, you are too hung over to care..
b. Make the bastard get up and leave you alone until he has made your coffee just the way you like it.
c. You have already been up for two hours and decided to scrub down the waterline as well as prepare a large breakfast, you know the food will help make your miserable existence on board a little more tolerable for the skipper…
Although the above question really has no right or wrong answers It will be used to help in my selection of crew….
Scenario 2
Quick, you notice the skipper is suffering a massive hangover and the anchor, somehow in the 65 knot winds managed to come loose, and now are heading towards other boats, dragging your anchor over their ground tackle… it is 3 AM and there is no moon….what do you do?
a. Let the bastard get up and figure it out if he really wants too, you are too hung over to care.
b. You wake up raising a clenched fist to the moonless night yelling “Oh Thank you soooooo much! You couldn’t do this at ten in the morning??? After we have a nice, leisurely wake up, a nice breakfast, lots of hot coffee???? Nooooo, you have to do this at three in the morning!!!”, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!!!!…..
c. You position yourself strategically on deck waiting to throw yourself over the side using your body as a large fender (also known as a cushion) if needed to protect the finish on CHOICES from being damaged when colliding with other boats in the anchorage.
Again there are no right or wrong answers, just simple guidelines being used by the skipper in making his choices for crew….
Scenario 3
Quick, you notice the skipper is suffering a massive hangover and somehow managed to make his way up on the forward deck in the middle of the night. He is presently passed out with his head hanging over the side and somehow managed to pull his shorts down around his ankles. Fast approaching the dock is a large group of tourist and will soon be passing the boat…what do you do?
a. Let the bastard figure it out himself, you have a massive hangover and are too sore all over from sleeping face first on the cockpit floor to care….
b. Get up and find the camera so you can preserve the moment…
c. Quickly find a blanket and cover the skipper thus saving any self respect he may have remaining after the “events” from the night before…
Again, I cannot emphasize enough to all, that there are no right or wrong answers and are only a loose guideline to help me decide who is best suited to crew. I have chosen many true life situations as examples, thus ensuring
Next we will do some simple true or false questions. Again, there are no right or wrong, just guide posts…
1.True or False You notice the skipper is suffering a massive hangover and everything he told you the night before is the “honest-to-God, this-is-no-shit” truth ….
2.True or False. The skipper appreciates and encourages having any navigation errors brought to his attention, especially when they have already been discussed to some length…
3. True or False. The skipper, although suffering a massive hangover, appreciates your timely suggestions on sail adjustments, and general sailing trim…
4. True or False. Anything that the skipper says during moments of panic should not be taken to heart…he is only trying to motivate the crew into quicker action, and you should ignore any unclear or conflicting orders coming from the helm….
5. True or False: The skipper totally appreciates your expertise in tying macramé knots and that while getting supplies you decided he has been kinda grumpy and so bought decaffeinated coffee for the long passage and forgot to tell him until the 2nd day out.
Wasn’t so bad now was it? I eagerly look forward to the next phase where I give you 1 hour to make five different dishes utilizing a secret ingredient, The hard part is you have to do it in the galley where you only have two pans. Remember taste is most important but not everything there are points for presentation and originality as well. .
Scenario 1
Quick, you notice the skipper is suffering a massive hangover and your departure time, in high winds and choppy sea conditions is fast approaching... what do you do?
a. Let the bastard get underway on his own if he really wants to get underway, you are too hung over to care..
b. Make the bastard get up and leave you alone until he has made your coffee just the way you like it.
c. You have already been up for two hours and decided to scrub down the waterline as well as prepare a large breakfast, you know the food will help make your miserable existence on board a little more tolerable for the skipper…
Although the above question really has no right or wrong answers It will be used to help in my selection of crew….
Scenario 2
Quick, you notice the skipper is suffering a massive hangover and the anchor, somehow in the 65 knot winds managed to come loose, and now are heading towards other boats, dragging your anchor over their ground tackle… it is 3 AM and there is no moon….what do you do?
a. Let the bastard get up and figure it out if he really wants too, you are too hung over to care.
b. You wake up raising a clenched fist to the moonless night yelling “Oh Thank you soooooo much! You couldn’t do this at ten in the morning??? After we have a nice, leisurely wake up, a nice breakfast, lots of hot coffee???? Nooooo, you have to do this at three in the morning!!!”, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!!!!…..
c. You position yourself strategically on deck waiting to throw yourself over the side using your body as a large fender (also known as a cushion) if needed to protect the finish on CHOICES from being damaged when colliding with other boats in the anchorage.
Again there are no right or wrong answers, just simple guidelines being used by the skipper in making his choices for crew….
Scenario 3
Quick, you notice the skipper is suffering a massive hangover and somehow managed to make his way up on the forward deck in the middle of the night. He is presently passed out with his head hanging over the side and somehow managed to pull his shorts down around his ankles. Fast approaching the dock is a large group of tourist and will soon be passing the boat…what do you do?
a. Let the bastard figure it out himself, you have a massive hangover and are too sore all over from sleeping face first on the cockpit floor to care….
b. Get up and find the camera so you can preserve the moment…
c. Quickly find a blanket and cover the skipper thus saving any self respect he may have remaining after the “events” from the night before…
Again, I cannot emphasize enough to all, that there are no right or wrong answers and are only a loose guideline to help me decide who is best suited to crew. I have chosen many true life situations as examples, thus ensuring
Next we will do some simple true or false questions. Again, there are no right or wrong, just guide posts…
1.True or False You notice the skipper is suffering a massive hangover and everything he told you the night before is the “honest-to-God, this-is-no-shit” truth ….
2.True or False. The skipper appreciates and encourages having any navigation errors brought to his attention, especially when they have already been discussed to some length…
3. True or False. The skipper, although suffering a massive hangover, appreciates your timely suggestions on sail adjustments, and general sailing trim…
4. True or False. Anything that the skipper says during moments of panic should not be taken to heart…he is only trying to motivate the crew into quicker action, and you should ignore any unclear or conflicting orders coming from the helm….
5. True or False: The skipper totally appreciates your expertise in tying macramé knots and that while getting supplies you decided he has been kinda grumpy and so bought decaffeinated coffee for the long passage and forgot to tell him until the 2nd day out.
Wasn’t so bad now was it? I eagerly look forward to the next phase where I give you 1 hour to make five different dishes utilizing a secret ingredient, The hard part is you have to do it in the galley where you only have two pans. Remember taste is most important but not everything there are points for presentation and originality as well. .
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