Flogging Skipper or What to expect on your first cruise in the islands

Hi Guys....In response to your many questions I have taken it upon myself to help you in your planned vacation down to the islands... Being your first time down and aboard I thought I would go into some details concerning a sailing vacation......As far as the weather is concerned you can expect temperatures to soar to the early 90's during the daytime and plummet to 78 after sunset....lots of sun block and hats are almost mandatory....a hat with a wide brim, though they look really cool, are also recommended....try not to embarrass me in front of my friends with your sense of style....I keep a complete set of towels onboard and more can be easily obtained if needed....I may need the room they would take up in your luggage to bring in contraband.....You may or may not, it depends upon circumstances and the person involved be subjected to a thorough search before coming aboard, so try to keep that in mind.....remember Mi Boata es su Boata! but that doesn't mean I am going to slave hand and foot getting you this and getting you that....Now for those of you that have never spent time on a sailboat a few things you should know.....When under way, when the wind is crossing our course from a certain angle and dependant upon that angle and the velocity of the wind a certain amount of heeling will result....Heeling is when a boat begins to lean to one side or the other, seldom reaching more than 45 degrees.....This is normal and sailboats are designed for this....It is just a requirement if we are to ever reach our destination within a reasonable time and is nothing I can do anything about….So keep this in mind when setting down half full drinks....or putting something on a shelf......I only discuss this for anyone with little or no experience with sailing.....
It will be very warm on deck during the daytime, there is nothing I can do about it so don't ask.....I usually suggest a plunge off the swim step....although the water is usually only a few degrees cooler than the air temp, it is refreshing....it is also very salty which is something else I can't do anything about, so don't ask.....We will be doing our primary sailing and passage making in the morning with land insight at all times, in fact most of our sailing will be within a short swim of the shore so the first time you decide to give the skipper some lip you might think about that....After the tragedy of Christmas, 2002, I will not be sailing after dark....We don't need to discuss that same tragedy nor is it necessary to use it in any arguments that may or may not, at times arise over this or that remark you may take as more of a command than as a request.... If you have something, and this includes body parts that you do not want the world to see you can forget it.....it doesn't exist on boats although you can sleep in privacy in your own quarters....it's the door marked Storage/Crew....and the boat has two bathrooms with showers which will from now on be known as heads..... you will have very little privacy which once again is something I can do nothing about so don't ask....The heads operate by simply moving a lever and hand pumping the bowel clean, then returning the switch to it's original position and pumping it dry....Water does not grow on trees! Use the fresh water sparingly! ..
When first boarding I will acquaint you with the parts of the boat and the proper nautical terms…The bathrooms as I said earlier are known as heads, the front of the boat is the bow, not the pointy part, the mast is not the tall stick that the sails hang from, the galley is not the kitchen, the big pillow, bumper things are known as fenders, but more about this subject when you come aboard…
Boats move, they rock back and forth and from side to side, as well as up and down, in all kinds of directions....depends on the sea conditions, the wind directions and how big a passing boat's wake is, again all things I cannot do anything about.... Pack light....mostly swimsuits and something to show respect to the locals when going to the market and walking around their towns, as well as going to the restaurant kind of change of cloths....the material should be something that dries quickly as you will get wet from time to time….depending on the guest onboard clingy, tight clothing is allowed, but must be approved by the skipper first….shoes should consist of sandals and flip flops....Nothing with black soles they mark up the decks.....
I'm not a flogging Captain, but can be forced to when petty offenses warrant them or they are just begging for it....one can't flinch from his duty when confronted with the difficult crew member....God help you if I hear as much as one little whine....Think about sun, beaches, and ugly little islands filled with human waste, social outsiders, too much booze, great music, unfriendly locals, great food, frizzy hair, sweaty, hot humid days swatting at no see ums, fighting mosquitoes and ugly lizards, well maybe not so ugly when you really think about it.....remember one thing and one thing well, I rule my deck with a very keen eye and won't be corrected or allowed to suffer any kind of insolence such as this or that was my fault kind of thing, and maybe and only maybe might I not have to suffer my disappointment and thus once again with a flogging attended at the mast....a scene which can easily become all to common as has been my experience.....I am getting back into my skipper with too much free time on his hands at times, sometimes finds himself in "situations" kinda frame of mind because he didn't display the right kind of, some would say, maybe not the best judgment at times, but to be totally frank, I believe it is rooted in under disciplined, surely, ungrateful crew....
I have over 500 albums as well as dozens of movies onboard.....if you can't find something to entertain yourself try reading something.....but bring your own as I don't keep books onboard....they weigh too much and are a source for disease.....don't expect the skipper to build a complete itinerary around your visit....nor will I be putting on a Bozo the Clown rubber nose and entertain you if you get bored.....Feel free to bring along any past times you may wish to bring such as needle point, rug weaving, coloring books etc.... There is plenty to do and we won't possibly be able to do them all in the time you will be down, something else I can't do anything about.....And one last word to ponder, "Bug Repellant".....okay make that 2....
Welcome aboard!
Marv
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Europe, 2003

Hi….Well I finally made it back down to the islands where I am sitting amongst the chaos that is my boat…chaos because I have been getting her back into sailing order after her repairs in the yard and long storage this summer…I splashed her two days after my arrival and it has been one thing after another, but the list is getting shorter as my bank account is getting leaner, but I see light at the end of the old proverbial tunnel…my prediction that I would be bruised, battered and sore all over as I adjusted to life back on the water has been surpassed…the rain has finally let up as the late tropical storm has passed and the weather is turning very nice…Of course the diesel starter that was fixed temporarily at best has gone out and my guests and I are awaiting a new starter to arrive from the States…
My visit with Tony and Sandra in England surpassed my greatest expectations…they are the most congenial of hosts and made it a very memorable trip. They live in the northern part of England near the Lake District in Penrith about an hours train ride south of Edinburough…their home is 160 years old, situated in the countryside…it is one of the newer houses in their village as many of their neighbors homes date back to the Elizabethan Period or about 450 years old…their home is next to a small church, St Cuthbert’s which is over a thousand years old and still has Sunday services….the thing that struck me the most was how history surrounded me everyplace I visited…Most of my time there I was in sensory overload….
Upon my arrival in Manchester, we immediately had me fitted for a dinner jacket that I would be needing for our dinner at the Lord Mayor of London’s residence known as the Mansion House…None of Tony’s dinner shirts fit me so Sandra and I went into Penrith where I purchased one from a haberdashery that is located below the home where the English poet Wordsworth’s grandparents lived…the shop has been in the same location since 1749! My first experience with a true English Pub took place on our drive back to their home in Penrith on the day of my arrival….I love the pubs and are just another part of their culture that I wish existed in the States. This one has been a pub for about 500 years and is located on an old carriage route that no longer exists….Tony and Sandra’s home has been beautifully restored by them and I enjoyed very comfortable accommodations while visiting them…Across the small road that passes through the old stone gates that provided access to the Squires’ estate when it still existed, is an old Celtic Cross, some 1500 years old…
I won’t attempt to describe all that I saw while in England, there are travel writers who can do a much better job than I…instead I would like to share some of the highlights of my visit….I was introduced to many very nice people and made to feel very welcome…For the most part everyone I met were mostly interested in my impressions of their country, something they are all very proud of…and is reflected on how well everything is kept…the food for the most part was nothing like I imagined, as I had always heard how bad English cuisine was…and I enjoyed many wonderful meals in Pubs and as a guest of many friends of Tony and Sandra’s…I must say the experience left me wanting to pack up my painting supplies and try to put on canvas many of the beautiful sights I was surrounded by…While in England we traveled by train to Edinburough, Scotland, walking about the city enjoying the sights, drove through the beautiful Lake District, visited many small villages, enjoyed lunch in the great room of a castle built in 900 A.D., walked along Hadrian’s Wall, visited a small pub and went on a tour of the micro brewery that was located in back, went for a walk through the mountains, but most importantly, met many very nice people who always treated me with the utmost politeness…The opportunity to see this countryside for my first time as very few tourists, will be an experience I shall never forget…
From England Tony and I flew to Spain where we hired a car and drove south to Gibralter…We spent several days sightseeing on the “island” as it is still called, even though it is connected to the mainland of Spain by a causeway that has been built upon which a runway has been built…Possession of Gibralter by Britain for the past 450 years has been a problem for the Spanish Government and crossing back and forth across the border was always slow…From Gibralter Tony and I drove down to Tarifa, Spain where we took a ferry across to Tangers, Morocco…We spent the day walking through the famous Casbah’s alleyways and markets…Again I was treated very well wherever I went…although it is a Islamic country, their king is a very forward looking, modern man and though many of the old traditions are still in evidence, there exists a modern cosmopolitan look and feel to the city…
Leaving Gibralter, we drove north along the Spanish Mediterranean coast, which is under heavy development for the large numbers of German, French and English who are moving there in large numbers. We spent one day visiting the old Moorish Palace of Alhambra in the ancient city of Grenada, a must see for anyone contemplating a tour of the country…Driving north through the Sierra Nevada mountains I was again surprised as I was surrounded by a sparsely inhabited countryside, much like the State of Nevada…Large vistas with very few towns or villages…the most intriguing for me was all the homes that were caves, cut into the soft stone with facades covering the them…We saw them everywhere…The Moors occupied Spain for many centuries and their castles can be found everywhere…Unfortunately the weather did not cooperate and we were unable to do any sailing due to gales coming off the Mediterranean so we stayed at Tony’s home in Spain and drove through the countryside visiting even more old churches and castles…I wasn’t very disappointed to be honest with you as I can go sailing anytime…
Flying back to England I was to be treated to what Tony described as the best part of my visit, London was that and more…Our first night the weather cooperated and we enjoyed walking through Westminster, near a hotel we were staying at…We saw Whitehall, # 10 Downing Street, Picadilly Circus, Soho, Trafalgar Square, walked along the Thames across from the Parliament and Big Ben (which is actually not the tower, but the bell inside), and enjoyed some great Indian Cuisine…After that first night it started raining and continued throughout the rest of our time there…The following day we went to St Paul’s and a play as well as Harrod’s where I did some of my Christmas shopping…The next day we went to The Tower of London and Tower bridge…That evening we went to an organ recital at Westminster Abbey, sitting in the front pews where the royal family sits entering through the Queen’s door…Every monarch since William the Conqueror has been coroneted in this place and it is filled with the tombs of many of them…
The next day was to be an experience I shall never forget, nor will I be inclined for many years to let anyone else forget…my dinner banquet at the Lord Mayor’s…Tony is a member of one of the many guilds that defined London in it’s early development…These guilds still exist for boat building, goldsmith, carpenters, and the Baker’s guild of which Tony is a member, as well as countless others…they were brought into existence as a method of providing a standard, much like our Bureau of Standards…it was a member of the Baker’s Guild, it is generally thought, who started the great London Fire while King Charles II was ruler, in 1652, and a large monument was erected at the spot it started…
Dressed in black tie and dinner jacket we first went to religious services at All Hallows Church next to The Tower…the church is over a thousand years old and the burial sight for many famous people from England’s history, such as Thomas More, Penn, the man who founded Pennsylvania and was the church that John Quincy Adams, 6th president of the United States got married in 1794.…during recent excavations many headless remains were also uncovered, remains from the Tower’s bloody past….From here we went to Mansion House, me in the company of three retired English Majors of the Royal Army…there had been some confusion of Douglas’ part as to my first name as we had only met once before in St Thomas where we had shared a great meal…Douglas is a master Chef and once cooked for the Queen Mother…After our Champagne reception, dinner was announced…As each of us passed through the double doors into the large dinning hall we were each announced with the rapping on the floor of a large staff crowned with the coat of arms of the Lord Mayor’s office by a gentleman dressed in clothing from the 1700’s…as another read out our names…when I walked through the door I was announced as “Mr. MELVIN Benoit” then I proceeded in line where I was introduced to the Lord Mayor and several Aldermen of London.
The food was only okay with a different wine being served at each course, followed with brandy at the end…During dinner, as we drank more wine our conversations became more enlivened…my dinner partner, sitting on my right was a Professor of Genetics at London University…he was in the audience when the discovery of DNA was announced and was a personal friend of the researches who had made the discovery…Didn’t matter, with enough wine in us by now, our conversation became even more lively…Across from me was a young man from Ireland who I spent much of the evening with…He owns a castle in Ireland and told me anytime I was in Ireland I must look him up…At the end of dinner and the speeches we performed the “Loving Cup Ceremony” in which a silver chalice, filled with more brandy is passed from one man to the next, each in turn wiping the lip of the chalice after taking a drink, turning around and passing the cup to the next man, who is standing back to back with you, as protection from times past…after so much wine I almost got it right…that night we drove back to Douglas’ home for more drinking…he is Scottish so I need not tell you what we finished the night imbibing…I woke up with one of the worst hangovers I have suffered in many a long while…The following day I flew back to the States where I enjoyed a weeks’ visit with my daughter’s for Thanksgiving holidays, before flying back down to Puerto Rico…
I was reflecting the first night on my boat, when she was back in the water while I was eating some cold baked beans straight out of the can, in the dark as I still hadn’t gotten the lights working yet, what wonderful extremes I live and what a lucky man I am to have the opportunity to see so much, but most importantly, to have met so many interesting people and to have made so many wonderful friends such as you….
Happy Holidays and God Bless,
Melvin

While CHOICES was undergoing repairs

I made into St Thomas on Friday afternoon after taking 3 flights with layovers in Ft Lauderdale and San Juan. I left at 10:50 AM Thursday night, arriving at Charlotte Amalie about 12:15 PM the next day. Needless to say I didn’t get a lot of sleep and with the time change, I was kinda tired. The air temperature was about 85 degrees with light trade winds blowing, just another beautiful day in paradise. Tom picked me up at the airport and I will be staying with him while on St Thomas. We stopped at the “Hook and Sinker” a small restaurant on the harbor for lunch. After unloading my gear at his boat and taking a moment to enjoy some “refreshments” we staggered over to “Bottoms Up” for some cocktails. It was great hooking up with many of the people I have made friends with in my time down here and had a great time. We crawled back along the dock, keeping low to avoid the 12 foot long iguanas, lurking all around us, waiting for their chance to spring out of the mangroves and attack us. I leave for Puerto Rico in a couple of weeks, where I plan to spend a couple of days inspecting the repairs to the boat. Tom has been the perfect host, he even brought out his humidor full of good Cuban cigars that he keeps for special occasions. He even went so far as to brew up some Cappuccino for us Sunday morning, complete with steam frothed milk. Last night we enjoyed PBS television as that is the only station he can get aboard his boat. Colonel Bob , who is the dock master here at Independent Boatyard told me I was at the top of their list when I was ready to bring my boat back this next Fall, after hurricane season. I have been eating some great meals. Monday night I prepared a salmon romalade stuffed with lobster, accompanied with a white wine sauce made with roasted garlic and portabella mushrooms. On the side I fixed baby potatoes. Tom seemed to enjoy the meal and afterwards we drank snifters of cognac. Yes it is a sailor’s life for me. We had a lot of rain Monday night. Unfortunately we left the forward hatch open and my suitcase was right under it. I now have clothes hanging in the main cabin drying out. The dinghy was also full of water so I bailed that out this morning and used it to “drive” Tom to his shop across the lagoon.
I spoke to the shipwright who is doing the repairs on my boat yesterday. He informed me he hadn’t started on the rudder yet. They were getting ready to drop the keel (6000 lbs) so they can re-bed it and replace the bolts. While at the boat I will be off-loading some things and shipping them back up to the States. During my planning stages of moving on a boat I included things that I never used and decided to put them in storage as space is limited .
On Thursday, Tom and I worked on an auto helm into a Beneteau Idlyllic 35. It is going to be a very difficult job and we have finally come upon a way of installing it. Our work was cut short by the heavy rains that fell today. This of course required the bailing of Tom’s dinghy which had filled with rainwater to the gunwales (pronounced gunnels). We had to go back to his shop where the rain really started coming down. We spent the afternoon at “Bottoms Up” while it rained very hard. The bar is open to the lagoon and it was really noisy with lightening all around us. We are hoping to be able to return to the boat tomorrow and continue with the installation. Of course Tom’s boat is not as watertight as it could be and once again I have my clothes hanging around the main cabin drying. I noticed Tina, who owns “Bottoms Up”, was out in the lagoon trying to get the plug to her dinghy out so that it would drain. I waded out into the lagoon with an umbrella and covered her with it while I worked the stuck plug loose. I then waded back ashore under the umbrella with her. It was at this point that I informed her that her dress was somewhat soaked and the air chilly and she should keep that in mind when she transited the bar. She informed me as she walked away not to look at her ass. I swear to God I didn’t watch her ass as she walked away. I am really glad that I invested the money to be able to more easily get on line. I am writing this e-mail from my laptop sitting in the main saloon as it rains outside. I can attach my laptop to my cell phone and go on line. It is really cool being in a lagoon, on a boat, accessing the internet.
I finally finished installing the auto helm, giving Tom time to catch up with his work. His mother is very ill and he must fly back to the States, which requires him to finish up any pending jobs so he can leave. The days I spent working on the boat were somewhat uncomfortable. The boat is on a mooring in the lagoon meaning she could only be reached by dinghy. The days were very hot, little breeze with rain developing into high humidity. The air was so thick you could see bubbles in it. Most of the time was spent in very tight quarters below decks, or working at some very odd angles topsides in the cockpit. What made it worse was all the food I ate while in the States, but it is finally completed and works great. On Friday I went with Tom up on the North shore to a home high above Megan’s Bay. The road is one which twists back and forth following the steep hillside’s contours. It is owned by a lady from Ireland who lives in Connecticut and works in New York. Megan’s Bay located about a quarter mile below fills the lower horizon. I watched a sailboat passing over a white sandy bottom, clearly visible from our heights. Casting a shadow onto the white sandy bottom, coupled with the incredible clarity of the water gave the boat the illusion it was slowly floating above the ground. From the back deck, surrounded by rain forest is a view of the Windward Passage with the British Virgins in the distance. While watching the weather develop with rain over the Atlantic I spotted a waterspout in the distance with a dark funnel cloud disappearing into the base of an enormous thunderhead. I pointed it out to the other guys that were working on the rear deck. From the way the surface of the ocean was being ripped apart my thoughts naturally began to try imagining what it would be like aboard a boat in that. The houses location and view would be a great place to do a painting, very quiet. and of course, nothing being perfect, infested with mosquitoes which are a result of all the rain that has been falling the past week.
I have am now in Florida having a great time with my daughters. We all had dinner last night at Chrissy’s restaurant in Orlando and I will be driving back up tomorrow for a visit before flying back out to California on Tuesday. At least that is the plan at this point, but like most plans in my life subject to change and revision.
I must say I was very impressed with the workmanship that was used on my boat’s repairs. The boat looks great, maybe even better than before. The boatyard has been very helpful in making arrangements for the boats storage while on the hard this Summer. In addition to the repairs needed from the grounding I also had a thru-hull for the forward head’s discharge replaced. It seems the bronze valve was couple to the hose using a galvanized pipe fitting, normally used in houses. This fitting, couple to the bronze with exposure to saltwater caused the whole valve to corrode due to electrolysis. In addition I had the cutlass bearing replaced (this attaches the propeller shaft to the transmission. It is best to get all this done now as eventually they could cause some major problems. For those of you that have been aboard, you cannot believe how much the main saloon has been opened up with the removal of the table. It is big enough to dance in and is something I should have done long ago.
My best to you all, I will call when I get to California,
Marv